REDNECK FAMILY TREE

Many, many years ago
when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be,

This widow had a daughter
Who had hair of red.

Slanted News

Two boys are playing football in the Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck.